A little known work recorded in Salzberg Cathedral in 2012 by the IT consultant Jorg Stefan Bach.
Bach’s Last Keyboard Work
New track “Opus 7645231” – pre-release version
Warning: this track contains drum and bass, offensive language and scary sound effects. If you are of a nervous disposition or easily offended, do NOT listen to this track.
You have been warned!
New track – “Home Free”
Home Free is the third piece for the new album “Born Again”, a collection of tracks about getting old.
New York Virgins outed as “non-binary”
The binary star system, known to astronomers as “NY Virginis” and discovered in 2011, has identified as non-binary after it was observed that its companion is just a large planet and not the red dwarf described in the literature. Classified as a “B-type hot subdwarf”, offensive on so many levels, NY Virginis will henceforth be known as NYV-A, with preferred personal pronouns they, them, their, theirs. [Surely these are plural…? Ed.]
New Money
Herewith final version of my new track “Money”, based on the original “Money (That’s What I Want)” by Berry Gordy and Janie Bradford, also recorded by The Beatles in 1963. This is one of my all time favourite tracks and one I’ve been meaning to pay tribute to for a long time. Enjoy!
This is the official release now, though I may make it into a video…
Brighton Scotch Eggs
The controversial Brighton Scotch Eggs were removed from Edinburgh Castle by James VI of Scotland when he acceded to the throne of England and Ireland as James I in 1603. The government of Scotland is now demanding their return, but Brighton and Hove City Council is asking for compensation of £48 million to pay for debts built up by the troubled i360 attraction. Plans for the taxpayer to save the eggs were nearly scotched by a backbench revolt of Conservative MPs who have now been left with considerable egg on face as the rest of the party voted overwhelmingly in favour. The Scottish government has yet to comment.
New featured artist: Katharina Hoeljes with “Animal Pop”
Welcoming Katharina to my select band of featured artists. You can go direct to her website or see her on my photography and artwork page.
ChatGP – NHS Nightmare solved by AI
Fed up with waiting for a GP appointment? Disappointed when you do get one? Had enough of doctors and receptionists talking down to you?
Microsoft has teamed up with the NHS to create ChatGP, an AI that is your personal, private doctor. House calls? No problem – they’re already there. Feel like a stranger? No longer: ChatGP has read all your medical records and those of your family. ChatGP knows about your job, your employer, your employees and all your social media friends and activities.
Choose from a range of avatars of all ages, nationalities, languages, genders and personality types. Interview them and engage the one you want. You can even hire another one for second opinions. Your avatar will communicate with you at exactly the right level, whether you are a university professor or a complete imbecile.
ChatGP can communicate with a large number of devices like FitBit, blood pressure readers, pacemakers and other medical sensors and can analyse pictures and videos from your phone in real time to give you an up to the minute diagnosis.
Reports are texted to you, prescriptions sent direct to your chosen chemist, no-quibble referrals made to real-life consultants and your medical records are updated after each consultation. It can also book sessions at your gym and make appointments with therapists and other wellness related services. It can recommend dietary and lifestyle changes and provide advice gleaned from a database of twenty trillion agony aunt columns and daytime television shows.
Join the ChatGP beta testing team for free, or buy into one of the many health packages available from Microsoft, starting with ChatGP Lite at £399 pcm up to the ChatGP Premium Service available at the knockdown price of £1199 pcm.
Offers valid till end May 2023. 2% staff discount available to NHS and Microsoft employees (6 months only). Terms and conditions apply.
New features added to Greening the Spark
Several new features have been added to the Greening the Spark models, completing the design for this phase of the project. These are:
Audio
A new audio module has been written with an audio file queueing capability. This ensures that voice messages associated with different events don’t play at the same time. It also supports playing ambient sounds concurrently with voice messages and other sounds effects when required.
Weather Effects
Two new weather effects have been added to augment the current timeline based weather models: gusts (of wind) and clouds. These allow for short term weather events of the order of tens of seconds to provide greater realism and help keep visitors’ attention.
Appeal to world leaders for some sanity…
